I’ve been thinking a lot about what we, as women, know about our bodies and how that affects…well, everything. Everything from our self-esteem, to what we expect out of intimacy, to the instances in which we do or do not seek medical care are informed by our knowledge of our bodies.
Thank you so much for this article. I am trying to learn how better to express my wants, needs, and desires without feeling such guilt and shame. It’s a process of unlearning and relearning but this article helped me see I am not alone in figuring out how to advocate for myself.
"A lifetime of objectification, shame, and silence led me to consent to a lot of things I did not actually want because my understanding of my body and, consequently, myself was that it existed for male pleasure.... I understood my role in physical intimacy to be that of an object—not a person with the right to express desire or discomfort." Incredible; this reminds me of Melissa Febos's writing on empty consent, but you take it to such an embodied place.
Thank you so much for this article. I am trying to learn how better to express my wants, needs, and desires without feeling such guilt and shame. It’s a process of unlearning and relearning but this article helped me see I am not alone in figuring out how to advocate for myself.
It is a real Process, for sure. It makes me so happy to know this was helpful to yours, even if it's small <3
"A lifetime of objectification, shame, and silence led me to consent to a lot of things I did not actually want because my understanding of my body and, consequently, myself was that it existed for male pleasure.... I understood my role in physical intimacy to be that of an object—not a person with the right to express desire or discomfort." Incredible; this reminds me of Melissa Febos's writing on empty consent, but you take it to such an embodied place.